Finding the positive
All over the world human beings share a common aspect, that controls us. What that aspect is... is something called our "internal dialogue." What we tell ourselves is what we will believe, over and above what any and every "expert" in the world might say....The reason for this? Quite simple! We have heard this voice longer than we have heard any others.
We must next understand how our human mind works. We receive information through our five senses. That is, when we see, hear, smell, taste or touch something that information immediately goes to the outer most portion of our brain, (called the " Thinking cap") where a thought is formed. That thought filters down to another part of the brain... where an emotion is created. This emotion filters to another part of our brain and, just like gasoline inside an internal combustion engine, it "powers" our actions. These actions are also called our "behavior."
Right now you are probably involved in an in-depth "internal dialogue," asking yourself "What the heck does this have to do with anything about being positive?!?!"
Well... the reason I share these things with you is to let you know two (2) things about you and everybody else in the world. First, nobody... and I repeat, nobody has the power to change these three things. And they are: #1 the weather, #2 history and #3 other people. No matter how much we may want to or try to, we have absolutely no control over changing any of those elements.
Second, we have no control over the circumstances that may happen to us, in our lives. Try as we may, we cannot predict the future and trying to prepare for every conceivable possibility... well, that's about as feasible as predicting the future. But the good news is, (and yes, there is good news) even though we have no control over the circumstances that may happen to us, we do have absolute control over our reaction to those circumstances! Our life is a continuous series of choices that we decide to make. But it's always "our" choice. Nobody else can make them for us! Knowing, understanding and most importantly, applying this to our life gives us back our power!
It is your decision to let somebody else's actions or words upset you. It is also your decision, how long you let that person's actions or words keep you upset. If you look at a situation... for that matter, any situation, if you look long, hard and objectively enough you will find positive elements within that situation you can apply to your own life.
Knowing how our human mind works gives us a huge amount of power! Next time you find yourself caught up in a negative emotion or action, trace it back to what you were thinking prior to the onset of the emotion or action, then change the thought. Just like a mathematical equation... when you change a component on the left hand side of that equation, everything on the right-hand side changes. The same thing applies in our thinking, emotion and behavior equation. Once you change the thoughts, the emotion and behavior changes also! Now, ask yourself this: who controls your thinking? You do, of course. The trick here is learning to recognize when your thinking is beginning to take you down that "negative" path, and changing it immediately. Learning this, in the beginning is like learning a foreign language. At first it's awkward, clumsy and difficult because we have allowed ourselves most of our lives, to be batted around by our emotions similar to a ping-pong ball in a hurricane. But just like learning that foreign language, the more you do it the easier it gets and the better at it you become.
"Positive thinking" or, as I like to say, "Productive Thinking" is more about learning how to take charge of your life by recognizing and applying the power you have, in your day to day living. Instead of letting your emotions control you, realize the power that you have by being in control of your thoughts and, learn to change your thought when you first recognize it’s about to take you down that road where you don't want to go! Next, realize today’s world can be a cold, hard, cruel place to live... if you perceive it like that. While at the same time, it can be a glorious, wonderful planet that's full of beauty and mystery! It all depends on how you choose to look at it. So once again, it's always your choice!
Remember: thoughts create emotions that power behaviors. Now, who's controlling yours?
Milton Anthony LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor & Professional Speaker
I'd like to help you find the positive in your life. Contact me for more information:
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